The Goldthorpe Salver
Current Competitors
Bill Butterworth
Former sports centre janitor. Rookie in 2012. Hits the ball a mile, but his short game unfortunately doesn't match up, hence his conspicuous lack of success.
HANDICAP - 6.6
CLUB - Woodsome Hall
E-MAIL ADDRESS - billwjcb@gmail.com
Chris Broadbent
Spanish based tax-exile. In 2006 became the first reigning Goat to take the title. Bunty used to be a complete no-hoper, but honing his game on the fairways of Vale do Lobo clearly paid dividends. Once stepped in as emergency bookmaker and nearly had to sell his house. Took a break from 2010 until playing again in 2022.
John Drake
Johnny Miller lookalike. All too rarely plays like him, but Duck is still one of the Goldthorpe's proper golfers. Only regular to use a broom handle putter, though not always successfully. Slowest eater on tour; if there were prizes for finishing last, he'd win every time.
HANDICAP - 11.4
CLUB - Lightcliffe
E-MAIL ADDRESS - johndrake@hotmail.co.uk
Chris Durrans
Shy and retiring member of the Durrans blacking dynasty. If political incorrectness was an Olympic sport, he'd be knighted by now. Reckons he's a proper golfer, but the stats tell the real story. Challenge regularly falters in the caravan park off the 11th tee.
HANDICAP - 15.0
CLUBS - Woodsome Hall
E-MAIL - cfdurrans@durrans.co.uk
Mike Dyson
Former banker, who emigrated to Dubai January 2007. Unlike Rupert Shires (see below), small stature belies length off tee. Used to be a member at Lytham, so everyone liked him. Mik-Al-Dyson is now back in Blighty, but let his Lytham membership lapse, so everyone's cross with him now.
HANDICAP - 12.8
CLUBS - Huddersfield
E-MAIL ADDRESS - mike_debbie.dyson@hotmail.co.uk
Alan Haigh
Oldest ever Salver rookie in 2019. Former Woodsome Hall captain. Also plays at Silloth in a hockey club event, so really should be a contender.
HANDICAP - 10.2
CLUB - Woodsome Hall
E-MAIL ADDRESS - alan.haigh49@gmail.com
Charles Kaye
Used to be an occasional tourist due to responsibilities as captain of industry, which meant he was more often to be found in China and Spain than Silloth. Retired in 2007, but still doesn't play very much, which explains why he hasn't got a current club handicap, and therefore why he's a complete bandit.
HANDICAP - A bone of contention
CLUB - Woodsome Hall
E-MAIL ADDRESS - charlesmkaye@hotmail.co.uk
John Liddiment
Former Chartered Surveyor & the Peter Pan of golf. Before back to back victories in 2014 & 2015, his main claim to fame was finding the front door of Silloth Stores off the 18th tee. Liddy's ambition is still to draw the ball - just once will do. Took over from Tim Sugden as the Salver bookmaker, and up to press has always made a profit.
HANDICAP - 21.1
HOME CLUB - Woodsome Hall
E-MAIL ADDRESS - jolidd@aol.com
Chris Sampson
First organiser of the Goldthorpe. Now back at the helm again after the Supremo's sad demise. Sambo used to be a proper golfer, but time and an expanding waistline have taken their toll. Horrid sight in shorts. Nevertheless a popular winner in 2005. If only he could putt.
HANDICAP - 14.9
HOME CLUB - Woodsome Hall
E-MAIL ADDRESS - chris.sampson2@btopenworld.com
John Shires
Oft-injured media megastar, with second shortest swing on tour. Multiple winner of Goldthorpe, but only twice at Silloth, which suggests lack of stamina, fragile temperament, or lack of ability - or all three.
HANDICAP - 9.4
CLUB - Woodsome Hall
E-MAIL ADDRESS - johnshires@blueyonder.co.uk
Rupert Shires
Former textile giant, now business consultant. Rookie in 2006 - how did he avoid it for so long? Unlike Mike Dyson (see above) small stature doesn't belie length off the tee. Hits it like a lady. But as the photos show, he's a happy little chap.
HANDICAP - 18.0
CLUB - Huddersfield
E-MAIL ADDRESS - rupert.shires56@gmail.com
Andrew Sugden
Solicitor. Long, languid and elegant….….are three words not associated with his swing. Blink and you miss it. Nevertheless off his handicap he can be dangerous……to wildlife in the heather in front of the 1st tee. The roommate everyone wants to avoid. Sleeps anywhere and everywhere apart from his bed.
HANDICAP - Mid-twenties
CLUB - Huddersfield
E-MAIL ADDRESS - wasugden@gmail.com
Roger Thomas
Rookie in 2008. Unique amongst Goldthorpe Salver competitors in that he's teetotal, and by God, don't we know it. Insists on lecturing the rest of us about the evils of alcohol whenever he wins - which is often. The real reason for his success is that he's a bandit; ironic, considering he's a Judge.
HANDICAP - Ridiculous (but 15.1)
CLUB - Woodsome Hall
E-MAIL ADDRESS - rogerthomasqc@ntlworld.com
Jonathan Thornton
Former centre half with the Amateurs and plays golf like one. Rookie in 2018 after selling the family business for squillions. Subsequent multiple holidays have restricted his opportunities - and desire - for serious practice.
HANDICAP - 26.3
CLUB - Woodsome Hall
E-MAIL ADDRESS - jhthornton@aol.com
Charles Webb
Corporate hospitality executive, and current (2022) Champion. Undoubtedly the tour's top golfer, and member of the R&A, but thankfully has more humility than his brother, so we're not constantly reminded about it. However, golfing ability can't excuse his dress sense. Former Captain and President of Fixby.
HANDICAP - +0.1
CLUB - Huddersfield
E-MAIL ADDRESS - charles@arevents.co.uk
Mike Webb
Webby possesses a classic swing (see picture), and an inflated opinion of his own ability. Always finds his own ball, but never anyone else's (well, he never even looks). Loquacious former solicitor and Fixby Captain, who's now succeeded his brother as President. Renowned for his modest victory speeches. Specialist subject: battleships of the Second World War. Big ears and nose.
HANDICAP - 9.4
HOME CLUB - Huddersfield
E-MAIL ADDRESS - mikewebb777@hotmail.com
Mark Wilcox
Osteopath, former champion, Multiple Goat, and madman. Knows his best chance of winning again is in a reduced field, but attempts to nobble the opposition on the treatment table usually proved unsuccessful. Madness finally confirmed when he suggested relocating the Goldthorpe to Iceland.
HANDICAP - 16.1 (a rabbit again)
HOME CLUB - Woodsome Hall
E-MAIL ADDRESS - marklwilcox@btinternet.com
Richard Whiteley
The Goldthorpe's Ron Atkinson. Non-playing Jock-hating purveyor of dodgy computers. Frank is the archetypal grumpy old man with strident opinions on everything and everyone - especially the Scots. Why does he live there?
HANDICAP - Lack of tolerance
CLUB - Unattached
E-MAIL ADDRESS - rw@userfriendlyltd.co.uk
Former Competitors
Peter Butler
Chartered surveyor, property magnate and former goat, who died tragically early in February, 2017. Everyone's best mate, Peter gave the lie to the common belief that "nice guys come second", since he never even came second.
Handicap - mid to late teens
Club - Woodsome Hall
Mark Nicholson
Former banker and - after Sambo gave up the job - long term organiser of the Goldthorpe Salver until his untimely death in 2020. Revelled so much in his honorary title of El Supremo that he was blissfully unconcerned about his lack of golfing ability. As a result he was a Multiple Goat.
HANDICAP - A lot
HOME CLUB - Woodsome Hall
John Newhill
Percy was a regular competitor in pre-Silloth days, but only played once since the Salver re-located to the banks of the Solway Firth. Reckons he was too old to tour - but just look at the rest of us.
Tim Sugden
Tim's death in February 2008 not only robbed us of a captain of industry and a snappy dresser, but also of the Goldthorpe Salver's specialist bookmaker. Suggy ran the book every year bar one, and reputedly always broke even. Better bookie than golfer; his accountancy qualifications came in handy too when counting up his medal score. Favourite place on the course: that little tree just in front of the 18th tee.
HANDICAP - 21
CLUB - Huddersfield
Steve Sutcliffe
Accountant who rivalled Sugden W.A. with his ability to take a nap anytime, anywhere. Multiple Goat. Driving was not his strong suit....on or off the course. Owed his occasional participation in the Salver to a passing motorist, the Cumbrian Fire, Rescue and Ambulance Services, and Carlisle General Hospital. Died in 2022.
HANDICAP - Your guess is as good as mine
CLUB - Howley Hall
E-MAIL ADDRESS - stephen@sgsutcliffe.co.uk
